List of Lord of Games quotes

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Quotes, dialogue, and speech that are from Lord of Games.

Quotes

• L.O.G.: Greetings, O second-game characters!.
  Banjo W-who are you?
  L.O.G.: My title is the Lord of Games, but you has-beens call me L.O.G. I am the grand creator of all videogames!"
  Kazooie: Even ones that don't sell very well, like Ghoulies?
  Gruntilda: Your name is odd and you look a bit queer, so tell old Grunty what brings L.O.G. here?
  L.O.G.: I come to settle your differences, cliched crone. You will play a challenge of my choice. To the winner goes Spiral Mountain. To the loser... an eternity of toil in my video game factory!
  Gruntilda: This sounds like a preposterous ruse, what'll you do if we refuse?
  (He turns them into a pumpkin and a frog creature)
  Banjo: Oh dear...
  L.O.G.: I wish they could stay like this, but I suppose you people would actually like to take a part in this game.
  Now then, in line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible. Let the Collectathon commence!
  No no, it's all too painful to watch, gamers today don't want all this, they just want to shoot things! But as we're broadening the demographic, I'll have to think of something original. Hmmm. Very well then, failures, listen carefully.
  Kazooie: Failures? We've been in several games already!
  L.O.G.: But nowhere near as many as that Italian gentleman, correct?
  Banjo: He does have a point.
  L.O.G.: I will now transport you to a brand new game world, considerably more impressive than anything you've seen before.
  Gruntlda: My body's gone but not my eyes, all I see is a pack of lies!
  Banjo: Mr. L.O.G., I don't think any of us are really in good enough shape for another adventure.
  L.O.G.: Any other requests?
  Kazooie: Hey, L.C.D. brain, where are my moves from the previous games?
  L.O.G.: You won't be needing those. They were rather outdated, anyway.
  Gruntilda: Bird was bad in our last game, now it seems she's extra lame!
  L.O.G.: Please follow me in those vehicles before I change my mind.
  Kazooie: Come on Banjo, grab us the cool-looking one!
  Gruntilda: Too slow, loosers. Watch me go! I'll win it this time, I just know!
  Banjo: This one looks a bit safer...
  Kazooie: No, it looks like a shopping trolley. We'll really look very stupid.

• "That looked rather painful. Let's begin, shall we?
• "This charming locale is known as Showdown Town".
• "Perched up there is my splendid videogame factory".
• "While exploring the town, look for these doors, which lead into game worlds of my own creation. There you'll find Jigsaw pieces..." "Jiggies? Is that the best you could come up with? We've run around chasing Jiggies at least twice before!" "Silence, bregull. Deposit the Jigsaw pieces in the Jiggy Bank, and more doors will open to you" - Kazooie and L.O.G.
• "Win and bank enough Jiggies to open the final door, return to Spiral Mountain and potentially win the game."
• "Grunty's role in my wonderful game is quite simple. She must try to prevent you two from getting back to Spiral Mountain." "But how we play your daft game when you've stolen my abilities?" - Kazooie and L.O.G.
• "By using this, impatient bird of dubious popularity." "A rusty metal stick? You've got to be joking, tube head!" - Kazooie and L.O.G.
• "Actually, you'll find that rusty stick to be a magical wrench with near-unlimited creative power."
• "Oh my, Piddles isn't going to like that."
• Now then, hold down the LB right trigger to pick up objects, and release it to drop them. Pick up this."
• "That Trophy Thomas fellow seems to think his gifts equal my own, but when it comes to maximizing your Jiggy count by replaying games, he does serve a purpose."
• "I invented the first-person shooter, you know. Wish I hadn't bothered now. Have you seen how many of the thing there are? I expect there's even a space marine in this game somewhere."
• "You may be restricted to a single vehicle in Showdown Town, but don't let that put you off experimenting with your best new parts to create mean machines for use in the game worlds!"
• "Whatever the outcome of this conflict, do you think you could consider not having a nemesis for a while? Your squabbling gives me a serious migraine, right here, behind my screen."
• "The Jinjos in the game worlds are rather more independent than the few remaining in Showdown Town, who may need some help to escape their current circumstances."
• "I discarded a lot of game worlds from this adventure. The Sewers of Severity, Vomit Volcano, Tooty Land... None of them made the cut, for whatever reason."
• "They're all in the pipeline. You know. Killer Instinct 3. Battletoads and Jet Force Gemini games. Even Ghoulies 2! Oh you'll never believe that. I've ruined my own humorous jape."
• "You should be grateful, I could've sent you to Hoedown Town. It's awful. The music, the dancing! -L.O.G saying about the beta world Weird West
• "What's that? You want to know why you've never met or heard of me before? Well, I'm very good at disguising myself. Pet my piglet!"
• "Sigh. This latest batch of characters is even more dysfunctional than I suspected."
• "I'll assume that was an accident. Keep it up and I'll reduce you to constituent pixels!"
• "When you're ready, press the A Button and let's begin the game!".
• "Now for your next test. Collect Grunty's eye and put it where it belongs! That's right, in the skip. Oh, very well, the "Dumpster". Sigh..."
• "I do believe that's the right answer!".
• "Well done, you answered that correctly!".
• "Excellent, a correct answer!".
• "All question answered correctly! Aren't you the smart one?"
• "My eyes are almost popping out of my screen! A performance like that earns you the very highest reward!"
• "I don't think that will be necessary, Banjo." "Why not, smart mouth? - L.O.G. and Kazooie.
• "Because you've just won the game."
• "(Referring to Gruntilda) Oh, but you are. Farewell, you half-baked harridan!
• "Now, if you two wouldn't mind smartening yourselves up, I'll see you later to collects your prize."
• "By the video game powers invested in me by myself, I hereby declare Banjo to be the rightful owner of Spiral Mountain, for now and evermore."
• "(Reffering to Kazooie's question) Good point, although you may never get another game."
• "I believe somebody has something to show you."
• "Of course, I have the best gift for you. It's just a little something I made eariler."
• "Let's take a look, shall we?".
• Alas, No. The warp system is built to transport vehicles. Not of bunch of animals running on foot like. Well... like animals. Hop back into yout Trolley and try again

L.O.G.'s Tips

During the loading screens, L.O.G. will appear and in his face the player can read random hints and tips:

• "Press and hold the Y Button when on foot to recall a distant or lost vehicle. This will not work during a Jiggy game. That would be cheating!"
• "If you've built a heavy vehicle, you'll need to add more power to enable it to perform well."
• "Have you been playing for a while but still don't like the vehicle-based gameplay? Maybe you need to buy Banjo-Kazooie on Xbox Live Arcade instead."
• "Showdown Town is made up of six different districts: the town center, theater district, seaside, lake, docks and uptown."
• "Collect the Mumbo Crates around Showdown Town, then take them to Mumbo's Motors to add more vehicle parts to the garage parts store."
• "I've heard that cooking roast beef in the Nutty Acres volcano is considered a real achievement."
• "Hold up on the D-Pad when not in a Jiggy game to make a shortcut to Mumbo's Motors, where you can build or test vehicles."
• "Visit Mumbo's Motor's in Showdown Town to build and fine-tune your very own vehicles."
• "Most of the vehicle parts in the Weapon category also require ammo to function. A simple but crucial point."
• "Leave plenty of space between wheels and add them to the corners of land-based vehicles for optimal performance."
• "Having trouble finding the Jinjos in game worlds? The Spec-o-Spy vehicle part is the answer."
• "In multiplayer mode, you'll start your own party. If you're connected to Xbox Live, you can join your friends' parties or invite them to your party."
• "Only the Trolley can be used in Showdown Town. I will be not swayed! All other Vehicles can be used inside the Game Worlds