Gruntilda/quotes

Gruntilda is infamous in the gaming world for her hilarious and very bizarre rhyming quotes. This page is a collection of Gruntilda's rhyming quotes throughout the Banjo-Kazooie series.

At Random

 * Many tricks are up my sleeve, to save yourself you'd better leave!
 * Grunty's plan is rather cunning, when I'm thin guys will come running!
 * Long of tooth and strong of arm, Grunty's got the lasting charm!
 * My filthy bed gives me a rash, I never wash, I save my cash!
 * I don't like stairs much in my lair, they always make me gasp for air!
 * Can't you get here any faster? Come and fight me, I'm the master!
 * If you think I'm rather soft, I'll be waiting in the loft!
 * Why do I talk all the time, it's really hard to make these rhyme!
 * I'm still here, I watch you play, but I can't think of much to say!
 * It really does sound quite absurd, adventure of a bear and bird!
 * How bright they are, your stupid shorts, a target for my dumb cohorts!
 * That ugly bear, you feathered freak, is nothing but a stupid geek!
 * Join me now and dump the bear, that little backpack then I'll wear!
 * You side with Banjo but change tack, imagine you on Grunty's back!
 * Your feathered buddy, that you've brung, useless like a pile of dung!
 * I can see it's quite hard work, to lump around that squawking jerk!
 * My next world is the hardest yet, and you'll fail on that I'll bet!
 * Tooty's fate is looking grim, it's because her brother's dim!
 * I've got this skirt so when I'm thinner, it really makes me look a winner!
 * When Tooty is a big ole lump, I've got just the frock to hide her rump!
 * Your butt will tell you and you'll know, when my boot swings to and fro!
 * When the back of Grunty's hand, whups your butt you'll hardly stand!
 * Hey Banjo, you're looking glum, it must be hard, being so dumb!
 * Grunty's stomach and leg thins, goodbye to all those double chins!
 * Once I'm nice and thin once more, burgers, fries, and chips galore!
 * Tooty says she's fine with me, if you go home I'll set her free!
 * Grunty admits she's a hog, I really need a big hot dog!
 * Monsters chase you, they're a hounding, then you'll get a Grunty pounding!
 * My belly's big, it's rather neat, it's years since I have seen my feet!
 * I've learned this spell, it's really neat, I'll keep it later for your treat!

Specific Events

 * There he is, the fun begins, my tricks and traps will see who wins!
 * That was such an easy fit, the others may just test your wit!
 * You've found some notes but you need more, to break my spell and pass this door!
 * That door was easy you got past, unfortunately your first and last!
 * When you open a world door, baddies escape and roam once more!
 * If one more page I see you turn, than (sic) Grunty shall Cheato burn!
 * That traitor book has pushed its luck, so in the burning fire I'll chuck!
 * What's wrong Banjo, is it tough? Let me know when you've had enough!
 * It's not over stupid bear, see my picture over there!
 * To fill it up is no mean feat, lots of Jiggies make it complete!
 * I'm sad to say down there you'll stop, 'cuz I'm safe here at the top!
 * Don't be sure you silly pot, soon I'll have you nice and hot!
 * See these filthy clothes I've got, when I've won you'll wash the lot!
 * All the Jiggies you did snatch, but I'll be back for my rematch!
 * Stop this cheating Grunty says, or your game pak I'll erase!
 * You didn't listen, I'm amazed, so now your game pak is erased!

Treasure Trove Cove

 * That golden treasure was for me, now harder still the game will be!
 * That lousy cheat for extra eggs, won't help bear and chicken legs!
 * All my feathers, it makes me sick, fly to me, your butt I'll kick!
 * Gold feathers you may have twenty, but bruises you'll still get plenty!

Bubblegloop Swamp

 * First you see it, now you don't, the fast one wins, the slow one won't!
 * I'll be young and Tooty old, before you get Gruntilda's gold!

Gobi's Valley

 * Grunty's race you cannot beat, until you find some faster feet!

Mad Monster Mansion

 * Those lovely thorns, how they've grown, music to my ears as you moan!
 * I can't believe you went in there, wash your hands now, filthy bear!
 * These two guests are rather dumb, let's make sure they're unwelcome!
 * Yes I'm mad, my boot I'll put, up your useless spooky butt!
 * Big oak door is very tough, stupid bear's not fast enough!

Rusty Bucket Bay

 * My oily water, in you plunge, you'll lose air while in that gunge!
 * Under the scum you'll breathe your last, 'cuz air is used twice as fast!
 * Stupid bear, you'll have to learn, that red hot ovens tend to burn!

Click Clock Wood

 * My bramble field makes you yelp, and loss of life it sure does help!
 * You'll use you air up double fold, I've made this water double cold!
 * Yes that's right, swim under there, icy water takes double air!

Grunty's Furnace Fun

 * Welcome all, Grunty's the name, Banjo's here to play my game!
 * My lair is done and there he stands, Through all my tricks and traps and lands!
 * This final test will see me win, When Banjo fails then I'll be thin
 * The prizes on this stand bring joy, from Tooty down to cuddly toy!
 * My little quiz will make you sweat, and Tooty you shall never get!
 * 'Cuz somewhere soon along the way, your lack of skill will make my day!
 * 'Cuz in the fiery pit you'll go, and I will win the prize on show!
 * So step on over to the square, Press A to try it if you dare!
 * A little answer's all I seek, about this game you furry geek!
 * A lucky guess, you got it right, the next square's yours without a fight!
 * Hear the crowd, they boo and hiss, to see you fail they would not miss!
 * A question on the sounds I play, get it wrong to make my day!
 * Just one chance to get this right, win a joker and help it might!
 * Each joker card that you have got, will skip your question, that's your lot!
 * Press B to use it you little cheat, when on a sqaure you get cold feet!
 * Prepare yourself to take a whack, pick this test, you won't come back!
 * I think it's time, so let me see, how much you know of little old me!
 * That's a secret, how did you know? Did my sister tell you so?
 * Get this wrong for Grunty's sake, then a lava bath you will take!
 * Fail a square and you'll feel pain, please press A to try again!
 * Get more wrong, yes that's the way, the crowds are happier today!
 * An easy challenge you have assumed, one more wrong and you are doomed!
 * An extra life, I do not care, It will not help you scruffy bear!
 * No one can win, I was assured, By the makers of this board!
 * It's not fair, I want to win, How I longed to be real thin!
 * Now you can take the prize on show, while up the winding stairs I go!
 * You won't catch me, I've made sure, All the credits you'll now endure!

Top of the Tower

 * I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT FURRY PAIR GOT RIGHT UP HERE. IT'S SO UNFAIR! BUT NOW THE STUPID BEAR MUST FIGHT. THIS BATTLE TESTS YOUR SKILL AND MIGHT!
 * SO YOU'RE BACK, YOU MUST BE THICK. AGAIN YOU'LL LOSE, I'LL MAKE IT QUICK!
 * I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BACK AGAIN, STUPID BEAR AND DIM BIRD BRAIN!
 * BACK ONCE MORE, YOU NEVER LEARN. THAT SUITS ME FINE, YOUR BUTTS I'LL BURN!
 * ANOTHER HIT, I'M GETTING WEAK, I REALLY NEED TO TAKE A LEAK.
 * SOON YOU'LL LOSE, AND WHEN YOU'VE GONE, I WILL GO TO USE THE JOHN!

Opening

 * Eight long years to bounce back here. I'll win this time and make you cheer!
 * It is me you podgy fool. I'm back again and ready to rule!
 * At least I haven't got a gut. Lets rumble now, i'll bite your butt!
 * Your name is odd and you look a bit queer, So tell old Grunty, what brings LOG here?
 * That sounds like a preposterous ruse. What'll you do if we refuse?
 * My body's gone, but not my eyes. All I see is a pack of lies!
 * Bird was bad in our last game, now it seems she's extra lame!
 * Too slow losers, watch me go! I'll win this time, I just know!
 * While you've slept i've become a mechanic, building my Gruntbots to make you panic!
 * So birdbrain gets a nice new wrench, well what do you have for this lovely wench?

Showdown Town

 * Hey there bear, go fetch me a drink. I'm getting hot and my armpits stink!
 * After some deep consideration, i'll treat this farce as a free vacation!
 * Your feathered friend is such a joke, where are the "funny" lines she once spoke?
 * The race is on, the game is afoot, Banjo's chances just went kaput!
 * With special abilities left on the bench, all you have is that stupid wrench!
 * I came all the way to take you down, to bust your butt and reclaim my crown!
 * A bear, a bird, and a Lord of games? How nice to have rivals so shockingly lame!
 * You must think you're a champion bruiser, all I see is a fleabag loser!
 * This town is such a confusing place, i'd slap the planner across the face!
 * Is it me or is your nose square? The fans will hate it, you butt-ugly bear!
 * The Safehouse is open, the police are coming, i'll just stand here innocently humming!

If hit

 * I know you're not a fan of mine, but this behavior's out of line!
 * Don't pick on me, 'cause i'll fight back. I'll show you Gruntys' breath attack!

Introduction to Banjo-Kazooie

 * Dingpot, Dingpot by the bench, who is the nicest looking wench?
 * Yes you're right, I'm rather proud, my looks stand me out from the crowd!
 * What d'you mean, this cannot be, there's no one prettier than me!
 * No no no you must be mad, nicer beauty can't be had!
 * If Tooty thinks she's fairer than me, I'll steal her looks and ugly she'll be.
 * Come to me, my little pretty, you'll soon be ugly, what a pity!
 * Don't scratch and bite little bear, you'll soon need bigger underwear!
 * This fine contraption, so I'm told, will make me young and Tooty old!
 * Rescue you he will not dare, there's many danger's in my lair!
 * Hurry Klungo push that switch, I'm tired of being an ugly witch!

Game Over From Banjo-Kazooie

 * Banjo's game ends in my tower, turn it up I need full power!
 * Look at Grunty she's a beauty, I'm much prettier than Tooty!